“…if we want to be free, we have to let every body be free. I hate and resent this so much. It means we have to let the people in our families and galaxies be free to be asshats, if that is how they choose to live. This however, does not mean we have to have lunch with them. Or go on vacation with them again. But we do have to let them be free.” ~Anne Lamott
I was just sent this quote by a colleague and, it feels relevant in the aftermath of the election so I’m sharing it with y’all.
My intention today is about how the hell we explain this political sh!t show to our kids?
Let me clarify – how do we discuss the fact that “THE DONALD” is THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA?!?
And how do we talk about this mind blowing result with our kids minus the whiny or blamey voice taking center stage.
I love the quote, “What you focus on…grows”.
If our inner whiner or blamer comes online in the midst of this conversation, we are inviting more whiners and blamers into our day.
Logically resulting in the outcomes that whiners and blamers typically get.
Those results involve frustration, negativity, surrounding yourself with victim energy and ultimately, an exhausting existence.
F&%k that noise! I’m here to have way more fun than that in this precious life.
I like Anne Lamott’s quote above because it’s really about defining personal boundaries and respecting other people’s differing opinions.
Choosing to stay in our own lane and surrounding ourselves with positive people and experiences strengthens us.
Because right now, many of us need strength to stay positive and hopeful to keep fighting for the future we want for ourselves, our kids and our country.
Many people in this country have spoken and they have a differing opinion from mine and possibly yours.
These people, we will call them STRUMPS, secret Trump Voters (sibling privilege to use my brother’s material b/c he came up with STRUMPS…genius).
Many of us feel blind sighted and now amidst our disappointment, heartbreak and anxiety about our future, we remember we are parents and have to find the right words to explain this outcome to our kids.
The same kids we have been teaching about equality and fairness and that bullies never prevail.
This is the convo I had with my kiddos in case you are looking for some inspiration:
We have our work cut out for us as change agents who are meant to spread kindness and equality. This is the reality right now in our country…”whitelash” is apparently very real. However, 10 years ago no one would have thought gay marriage would pass. What we focus on grows…we will handle this defeat with grace and integrity while keeping our heads down to fight for social justice and being a part of a different solution.”
This is how we strengthen ourselves, our platform and our 1/3 tribe.
We keep our heads down and get busy strengthening our tribe by focusing on the country we are ready to inhabit while also realizing that we are the trailblazers and have our work cut out for us.
Many other folks in our country are just not “there” yet as the election revealed.
We have more work ahead than we may have realized.
And like the gay marriage deniers have learned…social justice is real and people like US don’t sit back whining and blaming for long.
Because once we dust ourselves off, we will come back stronger than ever and prevail over the STRUMPS.
And in the words of my 15-year old daughter, “Mom, Americans didn’t fail us. Hillary won the popular vote by 200,000.”
As parents, we continue to talk about white privilege and “whitelash” and showing up in our lives spreading kindness and a belief in humanity.
This begins in our homes by strengthening our families from a place of kindness, love and connection.
We are raising the next generation.
Step into your power daily by being the loving and supportive parent you always swore you would be.
I'm guessing that vision didn't involve losing your temper and hurling insults back and forth with the people you love the most.
By creating a positive family dynamic, YOU are strengthening yourself, your kids and fighting for social justice.
Kids that come from connected families - free of yelling, shaming and blaming, grow up to do big things.
These are the kids that become the HEALTHY leaders of tomorrow.
You are a trailblazer and you have received “the call” to make this world and country a more loving one.
You are not alone. I am not alone. WE will do this together.
WE are the change agents and we will continue to strengthen each other by raising our kids to become part of a peaceful solution.