The REAL explanation for why you yell, lecture or name call

 
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Sometimes I have triggered sensations when I listen to old songs. 

Sunshine on my shoulders reminds me of a time when I was 3 or 4 years old and we lived in North Carolina on a street that was a circle in a circle. 

I remember being in our driveway and waiting to get out of the car because I wanted to hear the remainder of that John Denver song.  I loved it and even thinking about it now brings tears to my eyes.

Sunshine on my shoulders is a beautiful song to me but sad too.  My brain goes back to that time period even as I’m writing this now.

That time in my life did involve some real sadness for my little 3-year old self based on a traumatic experience. It's so interesting how hearing that song today can still bring tears and a physical response in my body.

Triggers are based on a memory stored deep within the subconscious part of your brain. 

Our brains are literally like computers and EVERY memory whether we realize it or not is stored there.

When something in your current life reminds your brain of a previous experience, your body expresses this memory through a feeling or sensation.

Do you know what triggers you?

My question for you:  When it comes to your kids, what situations bring up triggered sensations and where does it manifest in your body?

Do you give your kids a hard time in an effort to protect them from hurts that you experienced or witnessed as a kid?

Do you ask your daughter if she really “needs” that extra dessert to protect her from struggling with her weight like you have?

Do you criticize your kid’s performance right after he played a rough baseball game during the car ride home?

If your answer is yes, don’t worry.  We all do it.  We are human.  We love our kids and want the best for them. 

When you know better, you do better and becoming aware helps you to know better…and do better.

Your triggers are your little body whispers trying to make you aware of your “unfinished business” that is still hanging around from your own childhood.

Notice the triggers, shake hands with them and then breathe, calm yourself and show up as the loving and supportive parent you are in your heart.

I made you a quick audio to help you manage your triggers rather than allowing the old stuff to run the show with your kids.

Triggers tend to sabotage the NEW Parenting Conversation and our efforts to be the parent we want to be.

Click here to begin changing that. 

 

 
 
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ABOUT RANDI RUBENSTEIN

Randi helps parents, particularly ones with a strong willed kiddo, learn tools to raise confident, kind, and self motivated kids by improving the conversations in your family.

As the founder of  Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast and author ofThe Parent Gap, Randi helps parents keep cool and replace old patterns. Randi’s parenting motto is, “When our thoughts grow, the convos in our home flow".

To learn more go to www.randirubenstein.com.