I’m writing to you today to discuss something many of us have worried about. This worry is not something we typically cop to. Chances are, you may be unaware that this worry keeps you up at night as your mind replays all the mistakes you made that day with your kids. We don’t talk about this at play group or while coffee-ing or taking a walk with our mom friends. Instead, the convos are often about our baby’s milestones, the latest breaking news/gossip and surface chit chat.
Before you know it, the years have flown by and your babies have turned into toddlers, active kids and will soon be teenagers. And now it just feels sorta awkward to change the conversation to start talkin’ about real stuff with your mama friends.
These days you find yourself with an extremely busy life – possibly working part time (I say part time b/c as we moms know, being a mom is a big job so any “real” job comes second when your kid is barfing), driving carpool, volunteering, schlepping kids to after school activities, stressing about what to feed everyone for dinner or justifying why you have no time to think about it, trying to fit in time for exercise, and possibly losing that 10 lbs that you think is the real reason why happiness eludes you. This is all happening while fielding friend texts, commenting on social media postings and maintaining your social currency with a never ending calendar of coffee, lunch and Saturday night couple’s dates.
No wonder you’re mentally and physically exhausted. And adding to that mental exhaustion is the underlying worry about getting it right when it comes to raising your kids. You’re a strong woman, a feminist. Strong women raise great kids, right?!? We raise kids with good manners while looking cute in our FB pics who grow into winners on the sport’s field and in the classroom, right?!?
Wrong. The pressure to uphold this strong woman/super mom image while making it look effortless is freaking exhausting. And if you are that self deprecating super mom that pretends you have opted out…using lots of jokes about your kids being on some therapist’s couch 20 years from now…uhhhh, ya, I hate to break it but we’re onto you. Don’t pretend you aren’t worried about the same thing we are. Enough with the jokes.
You love your kids so much it hurts your heart to consider that all the mistakes you are making in raising them - yelling, constantly being on your phone, constantly letting them be on a device and feeling like you are on opposing teams leaves you awake at night unable to shut off your brain and actually get some much needed rest…so you can do it all again tomorrow. The thought that you are getting this mom thing wrong and your kids might suffer and possibly resent you in the future is just too much to think about.
So you busy yourself with social plans, over eating, drinking, over working, over social network scrolling, over committing, prescription drugging, gossiping, shopping and other forms of escapism as an attempt not to think about screwing up raising your kids. You probably feel guilty for these behaviors and haven’t connected the dots between worrying that you aren’t making the most out of these years and numbing out not to think about it.
But it’s there. Lurking just below the surface.
Wouldn’t it be easier if it went away? Like went away for real?
Most parents will continue to live with this reality and ultimately, their kids will rebel, disconnect and the family team will never be realized.
Those families will suffer greatly.
This makes me incredibly sad for them. Especially for the kids.
It doesn’t have to be this way. You can change this reality beginning today.
The remedy involves baby steps. All you have to think about is the next best step forward.
I help parents build your family dream team without using threats, blame, bribes or name calling to motivate your kiddos.
Who ever heard of name calling being an effective motivator anyway?
This new way of raising really emotionally healthy people is not for everyone (unfortunately)…only TRULY strong women need apply for the job.
Strong women own their mistakes and learn from them.
Strong women apologize.
Strong women have hard convos.
Strong women learn stuff to help improve their lives and families.
Strong women release the frenemies and surround themselves with folks that feel good.
Strong women treat their children with respect and in turn, raise RESPECTFUL KIDS...kids learn the most by what we model. When we model respect, they learn to treat others with respect.
A strong woman does whatever she needs to do to be the best parent SHE can be for her kids rather than blaming her co-parent for all he's doing wrong.
STRONG WOMEN TAKE ACTION.
Take action to raise your kids in the way your heart desires.
As a truly strong woman, begin today.
I have a gift for you! You can receive a free copy of my book, The Parent Gap. It's my signature recipe for keeping your cool. You gotta be cool to change the convos in your family so it can stop feeling like a war zone and more like a TEAM that works and plays together. Life is meant to be more fun... you may have a strong willed kiddo and your home may feel intense...like everyone's walking on eggshells. Trust me, I get it. That's why I wrote you a book to help with all of this! Order it at https://mastermindparenting.com/book